Poem: 5 pages and 4 maps.

(186 words) 15 October 2018

By Steven R.A. Markin

will the crown prosecutor take my side into consideration
and be reasonable?

5 pages and 4 maps
I stayed away from it,
for as long as I could.
it had been burdening me
obstructing my work
not painting
not writing poems
not focusing
hard to sleep,
so I dug deep and brought it out.

I cried.

I could image the day in the spring in May,
vividly.
I have thought of this day
over
and over
again
and again
for over 4 months.
I wrote
and done so, honestly,
concisely,
and detailed.
my side of the story
non-fiction.
the most important story I have written,
but not the hardest.

2 charges.

my mom’s suicide attempt
was much harder than this.
staying inside scared for nearly three years
was harder than this.
losing Uncle George,
harder than this,
losing Maxwell,
harder than this,
losing Uncle Ray
losing Grandpa
all harder than this.

prison,
or no prison?
I am me.
forever me.
not who they think I am,
I am me.

5 pages and 4 maps of a day I can’t take back.
but I am still me.

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