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poem: the house i no longer visit

(158 words) 7 April 2018

By S.R.A. Markin

there is a street in mind that i no longer visit
standing out front looking up over the balcony on the second floor,
no longer lingering and watching the shadows move together
the lights no more flicker and the yelling has stopped.

deep within my mind, the street is all black
a broken lamp post, the pavement covered in glass
cracked windows and unhinged doors
i no longer walk around to see where i was, “forever yours.”

in this place, i no longer dwell
where loneliness and insomnia manipulated, oh so fucking well
the cigarettes have long burnt, and internal fights extinguished
no refugee for the obsessive mind, i learned to manage.

i no longer visit the house under the stars
i no longer go up the creaky back steps,
wishing you would answer the door
i no longer visit, with a poem in hand
and i certainly no longer visit
because it will never be home
again.

 

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4 thoughts on “poem: the house i no longer visit

  1. Your poem really spoke to me. Gave me goosebumps. Plus it’s my birthday. Thanks for the gift. Keep writing.

    1. Happy birthday! Your comment made my day. I will. Thank you for the encouragement.

      1. It’s funny but I want to hear more about this house. I almost have a picture of it in my mind. About the lover that once lived there. If it’s all true. Or just poetry. It moved me because I was once a “forever yours” of someone who promised to never leave.

      2. I am going through a break up which made me think of a past break up. The house was my second place with a girlfriend at the time. I eventually left her, and she lived there for a while until she moved out and gave me back the apartment (which is in an old house). When I came back, my plants were dried out and dead, some of my possessions were broke and gone. I reclaimed the place as my own and lived there alone for a while working and going to school. I had a couple more failed relationships in that place. I nearly lost my mother and eventually quit my job because I could hardly deal with life. I spent many sleepless nights and dazed days in my apartment running through money and loans until one day I came home to a notice under the door that the building is being sold. I eventually left and moved in with my father and brother while going to university. The “forever yours” has been said and is one of the those beautiful things that someone may say to one another with good intentions at the time. But I have heard it more than once. Sadly, I seem to believe it and hold onto such a thought.

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