Reflections of a 31-year-old Student: #2

(305 words) 4 Jan. 2018

By S.R.A. Markin

Maybe caffeine and school isn’t always a working combination? But having someone who loves you while in school is.

I would like to be able to relax and not stress out. I am not like that. I sit at an empty staircase away from the busy hallways. My back hurts from slouching and sitting on the hard ground. My face feels greasy and my ears are warm. People walk past and they distract me. I am waiting for my girlfriend whom I just walked to class. We have a class together right after this one. I wish I could say that I am pleased to take the class with her, but I am anxious.

When I started university, I had no friends. I knew no one. My peers in high school either attended much earlier in their lives or not at all. I would find quiet places to sit and read or look at my phone. I would often go for walks outside to cool down, no matter how cold it was outside. In my second year, I would skip the first days to hopefully avoid icebreakers.

Now, I have someone who I am waiting for. She is waiting for me as well. This is our second class taking together, the first was a science fiction class, now we are taking a physical literacy class. I know one day I will look back and be appreciative of having her attend a class with me. I did this with our science fiction class. Why can’t I just learn to enjoy the now?

I will go wash my face, drink some cold water, and try to slow down my breathing. I can deal with the icebreakers. I can’t deal with hurting her feelings and ruining what time I have with her.

I will show up for her.



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